Hair issues? Acne issues? We can help!

     Two major problems facing American youth today are quite annoying.
     The first is dry, fuzzy hair. Yes, after most people take a shower, (if they do that in the first place), then their hair is clean, but dries and becomes unmanageable. This results in fuzzy hair that sticks out and looks terrible.
     The second is a greasy face. Most American youth produce an overabundance of grease on their face, resulting in acne: pimples, blackheads, etc. This simply does not enhance one's overall complexion and aesthetics.
     Fortunately, we have one life-saving tip that can solve both problems! It kills one birds with two stones, or.... actually that doesn't sound right. It sounds left, I mean... no, that's not correct either.
     But back to the solution: listen carefully to these 3 steps to solving your hair and acne problems.
# 1. Run 1 mile. Yes, you heard it... inside your head at least. Run approximately 5280 feet, or 1 mile.

# 2. Wash your hands. Then wipe as much grease off your face as possible. Running the mile not only helps burn any extra calories you might have, (I like to save my calories; you never know when you might need some extras), but it also helps bring the grease to your face, partially by making you sweat. That way, you can get as much grease on your hands as possible.

# 3. Now you should have your hand covered with some sweat/grease. Run your fingers through your hair, repeating the latter part of step 2 and all of step 3 until your face is less greasy, and your hair looks splendid.

Now you know the secret to how famous celebrities, athletes, movie stars, and other such people keep looking amazing!
Yours Truly,
-Me