How to: Paint your nails.

      Now I know this is a very delicate subject, so I will treat it with due sensitivity and care.
First of all, this will work for anybody, guys or gals. This new fashion will sweep your youth-group, church, any social group!
      Now, the real First of all.
Go to Home Depot or Lowe's. Buy a 1 gallon can of paint, or a 12 ounce spray can.
Also, buy a box of nails, anywhere from a couple pounds to a large bucket that you can barely carry, depending on how many nails you want to paint.

Step One.
   If you're using a can of paint (not a spray can), then either use a paintbrush, a sponge, or your fingers to dab paint over a nail. Galvanized nails are awesome. Or you can simply dip the nail in the bucket (or can) of paint.
    Then, set it out to dry. Depending on the humidity, temperature, and air pressure, it shouldn't take too long to dry. If you use a blow-dryer, make sure not to wrinkle the paint too much. Fashion should be fun, not ugly!

If you're using a spray can, simply hold up the nail and spray away. Works like a wonder.

Step Two.
    Show off your awesome styles to your friends.
You can stick the nail through your hat, carry a bundle of them on your head, or set them above your ear like a pencil.
   Other ideas include sticking them through your belt like a belt lined with bullets, or cinching wire around them and carrying them on a key-chain, or just filling your pockets with them so you can say you really need a belt to keep your pants up. Leaving them around on the ground to decorate the ground around car tires is not recommended. Neither is carrying them on airplane flights, or in your mouth. Plus, think of the exercise you can get from carrying around 10 pounds of nails!

Completely, Cheerily, Sincerely, and Undubitably Yours Truly,
       -Me